THE DIRT OF YOUR ENEMY IS YOUR VICTORY SOAP, by rena silverman

We need to find McCain’s Achilles’ heel and leak it to the press in order to cause lasting and permanent damage to his candidacy.

Everyone has something to hide . Everyone was dumb and stupid at one point in their life — it’s a frontal-lobe phenomenon that strikes the young. the deeper you dig, the more dirt you uncover.

Here’s a list of possible things to look for as we try to wreck his candidacy:

Petty theft

Sexual deviancy

Tax evasion

Littering

Failure to send thank-you notes for wedding gifts Drinking and driving Not recycling Poor tipping Software piracy Actual high seas piracy Undercooking poultry Alcohol addiction Employing undocumented workers Benefiting from a sweetheart land deal Drug addiction Lateness Attempting to initiate “the wave” at sporting events And most of all, the specifics of Anger Management.

Now, for the digging process:

So, in order to exercise successful humiliation, we must each ask ourselves this: “What would I be mortally embarrassed about if people found out about it?”

Now, Google: John McCain + your embarrassing issue .

When you find your result, determine the level of embarrassment.

If it’s embarrassing enough leak like its hemophilia — it all over this blog, talking points memo, the politico, and the political wire. Just go NUTS. Call MSNBC. Call CNN. Call the DNC. Anything.

Excuse me while I shudder.